Porteno and Gardel's Bar

I just might be the only person in Sydney who does not think this place is worth the wait, time, money, or calories.

Porteno is an Argentinian style BBQ restaurant that is crazy busy, crazy big and does not take bookings. We went here on a Friday night, we arrived at 6: 45 expecting a long wait, the hostess said we would be seated at 8 or 8:30 and it seemed by her facial expressions that she was trying to dissuade us from waiting. We are huge fans of Bodega their other restaurant, plus it smelled amazing so a wait would not deter us. As we headed upstairs I did have a nagging doubt that this place would live up to the hype, it is so very big and kind of reminded me of a giant themed restaurant at Universal CityWalk or Downtown Disney, not a good comparison for quality food. I brushed that nagging doubt aside and we went upstairs to their bar Gardel's Bar to wait out our sentence. We started with a Dark and Stormy and an El Nino, both were fantastic. They were fresh, unique and a decent size not huge but enough. The waitress takes your order on a wireless pad and since there is no waiting time for her to walk to a computer and key the order in, the drinks were at our table in minutes. We ordered Kingfish Sashimi on Tortilla and Meatballs. The Kingfish was a fresh and flavorful dish that I would go back for and was a bit like ceviche but not as bitey. The meatballs were huge and good, but meatballs just do not get my heart racing. Just like the drinks the food was out in break neck speed. If you are wondering why a restaurant like this does not take bookings it becomes pretty clear as you wait in their bar drinking $18 cocktails for an hour plus. The service in Gardel's was outstanding, and not just for Sydney, it was genuinely good, it was so good in fact, I almost felt uncomfortable at first, since good service in Sydney is extinct, that uncomfortable feeling passed really quickly.

At 8:30 pm we were taken downstairs and seated at a table that was right by a wall and a door, it could not have been more than 15'C. I wore my winter coat over my sweater and jacket and was still chilly. When our waitress arrived it was clear she must not have made the cut for the upstairs rock star crew. She stormed over, did not offer a perfunctory greeting, like hello, that would have taken too much energy, then quickly and with about as much emotion as a snail recited the special, flicked her too long in her eyes on one side bangs, turned on her heel and left us ordering our drinks into the air to no one. For a brief second I thought she may have just been the special reciter, you know like the water person, or the expeditor or the busser.

When she came back we ordered drinks, mains and sides in one swoop. Just like upstairs they came quickly but minus the smiling caring service. We started with bread that should have been a clue of what to come. It tasted like stale supermarket bread rolls. I have found that if a place does not care about their bread they usually miss other marks. We ordered the 8hr pork, grilled radicchio with roasted root vegetables and polenta and cheese. I had heard the 8 hr pork was a standout dish, to me it was bland and tasteless and the meat did not seem to be the highest quality. Between two people with normally VERY hearty appetites we barely made a dent in it. We both agreed it just was not worth going in for seconds. We did not even finish the crackling! SHAME! It tasted as bland as if you put it in your slow cooker walked away and served it up when it looked done. They bring two sauces to pair with the pork, the garlic one was so overpowering that after one small bite of it my tastebuds were useless, garlic was all I could taste. I am not sure where the root veggies were in the radicchio dish, I could not find them and the radicchio was really bitter. The polenta and cheese was good, I could not fault this dish and we finished this one.

I was so over the whole scene of bad service, freezing temperatures and subpar overrated food that we skipped dessert and coffee/after dinner drinks and asked for the bill. She forgot and we waited for about 10 minutes for her to remember.

Good: Gardels is a wonderful stylized place for a standout drink and great tapas style food. The service is outstanding. Wireless order entry makes for speedy service.
Bad: Sub-artic temps, poor service, lackluster food.
Ugly: Waiting a hour and half to eat at overrated Porteno's.

Brasstacks: If you are dying to try this place, go with a large group so you can book, actually, if you are dying to try this place, go to Four in Hand instead. They do the meat thing and everything else right.

Bodega

Bodega in Surry Hills, yum. I REALLY love this place despite all the reasons I should hate it including: it is tapas which I find so Y2K and generally overpriced, it takes no bookings and is crazy cramped, one of our four had to sit on a small stool with his back on the next diner. But against all odds I am in love. We went on a Saturday night with another couple, we got there a shade past 6 right when they open the doors for the lucky first seating, we were seated immediately! Had our cab been a few seconds slower we would have been eating with the 8:30 crowd. Which would have been fine for the local bar but maybe not so good for us the next day. So, the food is so incredibly delicious. Table favorites were Sashimi Kingfish Fingers, Steamed buns(the crowd went wild for these little jewels) and the Corn Tamale. We could have all lived without the Chorizo, it was just an odd way to serve it laid out like a big long sausage. We had great but pricey wine. And most importantly for me really really great service. I am dying to go back, but with so many great places in Sydney to try I will have to live on the memory alone, at least for now.

Good: food, service, lively atmosphere, for a group
Bad: a bit cramped, can get really loud, if you were planning to gaze into each other eyes and whisper sweet nothings all dinner, no bookings
Ugly: none


Brass tacks: plan your night out now!

Green Chartreuse and Low 302

Isn't Green Chartreuse tautolgy (add tautolgy to the list of things I just learnt of, e.g of tautology, very unique, PIN Number, joint cooperation, etc)? Nope, it is not tautology it is in fact an incredibly delicious alcohol that I just had for the first time at Low 302 in Surry Hills. In the past I would say, "I discovered great this blah blah blah." But after being called Christopher Columbus, I have dropped that phraseology.

Low 302 describes itself as: A comfortable, cozy and welcoming Cocktail Bar & Restaurant. (Atmospheric comfort by means of soft lounges, low lights, entertaining music and fresh food in combination with excellent drinks & cocktails). I agree with all of the above! We had great service here. Really. Great. Service. I know, I know, it sounds far fetched to have all of this great service in Sydney but it is true...don't call it a comeback! 


We had a cocktail that I am still thinking/fantasizing about and a liquor that I had to look up straight away! Green Chartreuse. The drink is the Vodka Thing: it is like a mojito, no rum, vodka instead, sparkling wine and dry ginger instead of club soda and Green Chartreuse. I wish I had the words to describe how light and refreshing and special this made the cocktail and exactly how it changed the drink. I think I may need to have it again, just for research sake! What the experts on the web say: Proprietary potent classic French high proof multi-herbal monastic liqueur of the green variety. Only three Carthusian monks know the formula of 130 herbs and flowers for the 110 proof Chartreuse at any given time. It is still produced today (now in Voiron) on monastery property as it has been since 1764. It was spawned by the more concentrated and intense Elixir Vegetal, and has itself since spawned a yellow variety (in 1838). Called for in many cocktails, notably the Widow's Kiss. 


I will say, in the light of a 5:30 pm first cocktail it looks like it could use a little loofah on the furnishings, but that is being very very nit picky. Oh, and they charged me $24 for a dirty martini that was not so good. They justified the cost saying it was 2 shots. OK. Whatevah! Nonetheless, I do not have the patience to try and duplicate their precise cocktail engineering work so I will be back very soon for that thing, that thing...that Vodka Thing. 


Good: Vodka Thing, service
Bad: $17 cocktails, a little interior loofah needed, this could be good or bad but it gets pretty crowded around 10:30pm on
Ugly: $24 martini


Brass tacks: If you like a mojito, you will flip your lid for a Vodka Thing. When your in Surry Hills this is a great place for pre or post game magic!